I crossed my arms, tucking my tattooed hand under my right bicep, and spread my feet slightly further apart on the dirt floor of the stables. To not have to tell him that though I’d freed him, saved his people and all of Prythian from Amarantha … I’d broken myself apart.Īnd I didn’t think even eternity would be long enough to fix me. It was easier to not have to explain, anyway. It had become our unspoken agreement-not to let Amarantha win by acknowledging that she still tormented us in our dreams and waking hours. He’d spent the rest of the night sprawled across the foot of the bed, monitoring the door, the wall of windows.Ĭurled in the bed, I pulled the blanket higher, craving its warmth against the chill night. But he’d shaken off my touch, his skin clammy, and had shifted into that beast of fur and claws and horns and fangs. The first time it had happened, I’d awoken-tried to speak to him. I knew similar dreams chased him from his slumber as often as I fled from mine. If he knew or heard, he said nothing about it.
He never woke when the nightmares dragged me from sleep never woke when I vomited my guts up night after night. I never had the nerve to ask if he was awake. But with my Fae ears … sometimes I wondered if I heard his breath catch, only for a heartbeat. The sheets were now cool and dry, and I slipped in, curling my back to him, wrapping my arms around myself. I continued to the bed, each step heavier, harder. For a moment, I just admired the powerful muscles of his back, so lovingly traced by the moonlight, his golden hair, mussed with sleep and the fingers I’d run through it while we made love earlier.įor him, I had done this-for him, I’d gladly wrecked myself and my immortal soul. Tamlin remained asleep as I crept back into my darkened bedroom, his naked body sprawled across the mattress. Instead of the shredded bit of blackness that it now was, leaking its ichor into me. I wished my human heart had been changed with the rest of me, made into immortal marble. I uncoiled to my feet, and flushed the toilet before padding to the sink to rinse out my mouth, then wash my face. I squeezed my fingers into a fist, blocking out that eye, the tattoo. Pity those who don’t feel anything at all. I’d told no one about that meeting, what he’d said to me, what I’d confessed to him.īe glad of your human heart, Feyre. Mountains and darkness and stars and death.īut I hadn’t felt like Rhysand’s enemy the last time I’d spoken to him, in the hours after Amarantha’s defeat. No one really knew what existed in the northernmost part of Prythian. So few went over the borders of the Night Court and lived to tell.
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